User blog:Trollpastalol1234/Robloxian Action Tales: Jack Bloxxer: Adventurer Extraordinaire

Jack Bloxxer: Adventurer Extraordinaire issue #1
'''The setting is the grand city of New Robloxia, city of a trillion stories and a trillion souls! A real diverse den of villains, heroes, and those in between!'''

Jack Bloxxer walked down the street. His hat was pulled low over his eyes covered with a pair of slim shades. His long brown leather coat flapped in the wind. His Linked Sword flapped by his side in a sheath. His black leather boots made almost no noise as they hit the ground; the padded soles ensured this.

He walked, and the people stared, but he didn't care. Jack Bloxxer was a man with a purpose. The purpose: kick as much villain butt as possible. He would go to the end of New Robloxia and back, while the bloxxed noobs flew high and wide all around him.

He stopped outside a coffee shop, and pushing the door open purposefully walked into the brightly lit space. A few men in suits stood up when he entered, and advanced on him. Jack Bloxxer turned his head, and looked at them over the top of his shades.

"What do you think you're doing here?" asked a suited man. His face was that of a bureaucrat, with sagging jowls and gray hair trimmed into a buzz cut. But his muscly body package suggested he was some sort of hired thug. The others looked the same. Jack Bloxxer felt a duty to teach these men a lesson.

"I'm gettin' a coffee," he said softly. "Can I get you gentlemen anything?"

"... Listen, boy," said a thug, "we're looking for someone around... five-and-two-thirds blox in height, sporting roguish gear and a Robloxian 1.0 body package. Wears a hat and everything. Walks with... quote, calm and cool purpose, unquote. We think you're that man."

Well, thought Jack Bloxxer, it was worth a try being nice.

"I think you're in the wrong," said Jack Bloxxer. "Listen, I either get my caffeine buzz or I get a headache of administrative proportions. Your choice."

"Our choice, eh?" said a thug, leering at Jack. The teeth were crooked, and at least one of them was golden. Jack kept his face stony. "I think we'll be taking you," said the thug.

"You might be makin' a mistake, fellas," said Jack as the thugs reached for him and the oldest of them pulled out a PM Transmitter.

"A mistake?" The thug chuckled. "You know, calmly and casually robbing a Roblox Senator at gunpoint was a mistake."

"He was asking for it," said Jack.

"You're asking for it now," snarled a thug, and tried to grab his arm. Jack wove to the side, grabbed the thug's arm, and flipped the large man onto his back very hard. Then he stooped down, picked up the thug's laser gun, and fired at the rest of the thugs as the felled one howled in pain and flailed around with his hands. Jack wasn't really trying to kill the thugs; rather, he was trying to scare them away.

The thugs chose to fry him with their own lasers, however, so Jack could infer from this fact that warning shots didn't work with hired goons.

His only recourse was to jump through the coffee shop's window. But from what he had seen, the coffee house was far above the Fashion District, and between the shop and the District was a branch of the Robloxian Transit System Mass Transportation Device Electric Railway (in other words a large train track sat between his fall and safety on the ground). He knew that the electric rails were dangerous, and Baszucki help him if he was hit by a train on top of it all.

However, if he did not jump, the thugs would fry him.

Jack decided that, no matter his reservations about falling into electrified train rails, he always liked to live dangerously. So as the thugs prepared to fire, he opened his arms as if to embrace the attackers and calmly tipped himself backwards through the window.

'''Will Jack Bloxxer survive his deadly plummet? Will he escape the bloodthirsty thugs hired by the vengeful Senator? Find out next time, in another thrilling installment of Robloxian Action Tales!'''