User blog:TheDarkness909/Electric vehicle

So, it's been a while since I last did a legitimate blog post and not something that was a host page for templates, and/or was less than 3 paragraphs long. Today, I intend to fill that void with this new blog post, and- BEAR WITH ME, my writing always switches around from pro to leet, so before we start, if you dare to make a comment on that, it would be useless.

Lithium-ion Battery How NOT to write.

I was looking on a Wikipedia article about Electric vehicles when a section caught my eye of interest. Lithium-ion Battery. As I pondered over the Table of Contents, I knew it would be something worth reading. I clicked on the link and Firefox sent me down to the section.

What I saw afterwards was terror.  Pure terror .

My eyes were glued to the screen as I skimmed the section that bear only 2 paragraphs. This was unbelievable! How could someone not have noticed by now?

 What you are about to see was taken on June 3rd, 2014. It may be different now, but when I saw it, it looked exactly like this:


 * Most of the electric vehicles used Lithium ion battery. Lithium ion batteries are environmental friendly and have higher energy density, longer life span, and higher power density than conventional battery so they have wide application in electric vehicles and other electronics. Since large number of Lithium-ion batteries used in series in electric vehicles so there arises the problems of safety, durability, thermal breakdown and cost, which limits the application of the Lithium ion battery. Li-ion batteries should be used within the safe range of temperature and voltages in order to operate safely and efficiently.

Let's do an old-fashioned assessment of that paragraph.


 * Most of the electric vehicles used Lithium ion battery.

Oh my god, that's terrible! Did something happen?


 * Lithium ion batteries are environmental friendly

They're not environmental - ly friendly; they are just environmental friendly.

Also notice he didn't bother putting in the dash in Lithium-ion. Let's continue.


 * and have higher energy density

and have longer battery life... yeah, you're missing a. A higher energy density.


 * than conventional battery

Ohhhh- WAIT WHAT!?

If I said "Landmines have higher damage radius than conventional grenade ", would that be grammatically correct?  NO  .


 * so they have wide application in electric vehicles and other electronics.

- WHERE'S THE S!? Wide application s  in electric vehicles, thank you.


 * Since large number of Lithium-ion batteries used in series in electric vehicles so there arises the problems of safety, durability, thermal breakdown and cost, which limits the application of the Lithium ion battery.

Ladies and gentlemen, we introduce our special guest, Yahoo Babelfish!

It looks like he didn't even try here, he was probably like "You know what, they'll understand anyways."


 * Li-ion batteries should be used within the safe range of temperature and voltages in order to operate safely and efficiently.

Well, what IS the safe range? WHAT IS IT!? If it's above -20 degrees (Celsius), those batteries won't work in Canada, because here we have WINTER.

Also notice Li-ion batteries. You know, some people can screw that up and interpret that as a completely different form of battery.

I thought it was over, where reading that sentence was just the end. But it was only halfway. I had to read more.

So the guy puts in a section below that one, called "The life span of Li-ion battery". Sure enough, I was reading that one, too.


 * The main component of Electric vehicle is its battery. Since the price of the battery is very high we can decrease the effective cost of the battery by increasing it’s life span. According to the research carried out by the professors of Bar-Ilan University, Israel, we can increase the life span of the battery by operating only a subset of battery cells at a time instead of operating entire battery cells simultaneously, and switching these subsets. The researchers referred to this process as “Sequential Switching Algorithms”.

Time for some huge corrections.


 * The main component of Electric vehicle is its battery.

Oh, I'm sorry, when did Electric vehicle become a person or a place?

IT'S AN OBJECT.

And this is an extremely redundant sentence, considering electric vehicles need batteries in the first place. Oh yeah, how did you think it ran? Gasoline?


 * Since the price of the battery is very high we can decrease the effective cost of the battery by increasing it’s life span.

By looking at this sentence closely, we can see that this uses a PRONOUN and lacks a comma where needed. Speaking of pronouns,

WELL, THERE GOES THE WHOLE RULE ABOUT NEUTRALITY!

LIKE, SERIOUSLY! That's going Bob the Builder on us.

Can we fix it? Oh I'm sorry, I'm only a reader. I'm not getting an electric vehicle anytime soon, I'm just reading about it. If we can decrease it, I gotta be where you are. SINCE I AM NOT, AND SINCE YOU ARE NOT, IT IS POSSIBLE TO DECREASE IT.


 * According to the research carried out by the professors of Bar-Ilan University, Israel,

OH NO.

I don't say that because of Israel. I say that because it was carried out.

IT WAS CARRIED OUT.

I'm sorry, but that's two words too many. According to the research by the professors of the university, and so on.

For it to be carried out, it would have to be planned. Aren't all scientific processes unplanned (except for space missions)?


 * we can increase the life span

AGAIN WITH THE WII!


 * of the battery by operating only a subset of battery cells at a time instead of operating entire battery cells simultaneously, and switching these subsets.

Okay, can you break that down for me? I'm sorry, but there's a specific banner on Wikipedia that editors can put in. "Excessively detailed?" Ugh, no, that's not it... uh, What.

What. Clarify.

If this sentence is a short explanation, it needs to be longer.


 * The researchers referred to this process as “Sequential Switching Algorithms”.

Yes, yes they did.

I'm just going to make an assumption here, this guy was from Israel. BUT REMEMBER, IT'S ONLY AN ASSUMPTION!

The guy was definitely foreign, because if anyone writes like that on this wiki and is a North American citizen, I wouldn't even deport them, I would just leave and go to Sweden. Because hey, DreamHack. Why else?

Take notes, guys. Take notes. You don't want RWikia articles ending up like this. Heck, use Google Translate if English isn't your first language, under the condition your first (or primary) is translatable.

If I had to give a score for this, it would be:

Yes, it does bring a good message, but the ignorance for spelling Lithium-ion with a dash is far too powerful, and the sad part is... that's the main topic.

Dark
 * Yours of Pure Honesty,

Feetnotes