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Okay, so let's say that someone out there decides to make a Roblox movie. By movie, I mean short videos/machinimas or long-form machinimas/feature presentations. Some mystery director. We don't have an identity... yet.

And just so you're aware, Michael Bay is out of the question. So is Uwe Boll. Sorry, Uwe. Maybe next time. :-)

There are already quite a few Roblox machinimas/movies out there, on YouTube, on Vimeo... heck, I bet I could find some on Metacafé if I looked hard enough. Dayren, PhireFox, iEZCheez, and JohanSKruger are prominent filmmakers, although if you know of any other good ones please indicate so.

Now, I like movies, but I like a certain kind of movie. I like Roblox, but I like certain aspects of Roblox. Therefore there's a certain kind of Roblox movie I prefer. So say this guy, this director creates a movie. For my optimum satisfaction, it would need a few things:

One, it would need good voice acting. PhireFox is the maker I know who does this, but... his voice... not quite right for me. What I mean by good voice acting is voice acting recorded with a quality mic. I don't want an amazing blockbuster pure-bred Robloxian movie with EAR-TORTURE in the starring role and MICROPHONE STATIC as the plucky sidekick!

Two, it would need someone who knows how to write a plot. I'm an author and beginning scriptwriter, and quite honestly I'm getting tired of the post-apocalyptic and end-of-the-world genres of Robloxian filmmaking. Now, this plot cliché can be ignored if everything else is done right, but it so frequently isn't that I just have to comment on this. My number one piece of advice to writers: once in a while, spice up the plot. Maybe, in this apocalypse, there's a crime syndicate profiting on this by selling faulty bunkers, or using the political and social turmoil to channel contraband into places where it normally is banned. Maybe the hero or heroine has to support is or her family and get them to a place of safety while the ground is crumbling around them. There are endless possibilities, and that's just in the apocalyptic genre. Drama, comedy, sci-fi and space operas... it's all at your fingertips! This is Roblox! This is the land of imagination!

Three, good and appropriate set design is key. I love a good intricate set in movies. The 1984 Dune film by David Lynch, while flawed in sooooo many other ways, had amazing and beautiful set design. I loved the artistry and imagination shown there. Star Wars is another movie and series I could name. So why not Roblox? So many movies are filmed in public places we all know and expect, like the Iron Café and Apocalypse Rising and SFOTH IV and more! Sometimes it's all just free models! What I'd love to see is a good palace set. It doesn't even have to be a whole room; it can just be two walls and a ceiling, with the equipment and behind-the-scenes stuff off-set. Another one is the inside of a space frigate on a voyage to some planet or other. Honestly, there are so many fun things you can build all by yourself. Plus, with some editing software, you can add in bright green blocks and chroma-key them out, replacing the green with your own background that's too complex for Roblox's limited engine. This would look excellent in a sci-fi movie, where the rugged spacefaring hero can stare out into the beautiful stars from the window of a passenger shuttle transporting him from Robloxia to a far-flung colony.

Four is music. A good harmony can set the pace of an entire film. Epic, intense 1v1 swordfights can have a climactic, epic air to them, whereas gunfights and group melees can have a fast-paced tense theme. Just don't play Ninja Tuna over everything. Mr. Scruff doesn't go well with funerals.

Five is a controlled cast. It's notoriously hard to control what a Robloxian says during a shoot. I've tried, believe me, but my attempts in 2012 at filming a police drama failed miserably when all my cast and crew walked off to play Base Wars. Never let that happen to you. Never. Never ever. If in doubt of anything, get people you know and trust on the crew, like your friends and family and pets (okay, maybe not).

Six, the film needs good editing. The maker needs to cut out whatever is not good, and heighten the quality of that which remains. If he has competent software, he can pull this off easily.

That would be all. If the maker did all these things, I'd sit back and enjoy the view with a bag of popcorn and some buddies. We'd try not to spill our drinks on the people in front of us as we roar in triumph.

I'd like to thank you all for sitting through my self-important ranting. That means a whole lot to me.


--Trollpastalol1234/GreatOverseer--

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